Generational Mindfulness

Have you ever asked yourself why you prefer something over something else? Why you like a certain type of physical features than others? Why you have a hard time deciding more than others? Or why did you ended up in that horrible abusive relationship when you were really looking for love? ..... I HAVE, and for many years I believed that “it was what it was” didn’t think too much in the possible science behind my elections and preferences. I used to believe that I had no control over what I felt, thought or did but I wasn’t even aware of the fact that I thought I was a victim of life. What a real waste of life I would think, I and so for many years I did the unhealthy choices in all aspects of my life, health, emotional, relationships, work, and love.

TODAY, when I look back at what I was doing I have to say the following:

  • it was necessary for me to be here where I am today not only in for my own evolutionary process but for my own growing in this existence therefor, I am grateful for it.
  • I was living the choices of my parents, teachers, bosses and society but they weren’t MY CHOICES
  • I was wrong, we do have full control of our choices and therefor we are not victims of this life, life doesn’t happen to us, but it happens for us
  • The generational choices passed down to me where CHOICES, not good or bad but choices in itself. What I do these choices is where I need to label it as good or bad
  • My parents did EVERYTHING they could with everything that they knew.
  • We are meaning making machines, change the meaning, change the feelings

I could go on and on in my reflection on what I have done so far and the conclusions I have arrive to, but I want to be able to help you understand how I arrived at those conclusions. In order to do this, I have to do a confession… I watched the "Surviving R Kelly" documentaries series and I say confession because I normally don’t want to get wrapped up on these kind of documentaries because it really makes me feel rage, but I decided to watch it because I am a woman and I believe in the power of awareness. Through the documentary I saw women and experts create an excellent understanding of what happen to these women. On the other hand, I saw on social media how people blame the parents. R Kelly, the women, the color, the race Etc. The blaming game will never end the problem but it is just passing the problem from hand to hand to hand; my biggest take on is that is not about the parents “selling” the kids, or a pedophile in the streets, or young women trying to advance in any way, an industry that chose to “not see” the obvious; we have been ignoring the biggest problem because it makes us inconvenient, it makes us questions our political, judicial, economical, and social systems.

It’s a GENERATIONAL TRAUMA CYCLE that we are not breaking and that it is creating more of the more. The theory of trans generational trauma it’s the theory that suggests that trauma is transferred between generations. It suggests that after the first generation of survivor’s experiences trauma they are able to turn over their distress to their children.  

WHY is no one talking about how the existing man-made rules world including laws, hierarchies, standards and regulations are going against the organic cycle of life?[1] We have created societies that  are comfort seeking, that want the quick fix, not to be inconvenient and we have forgotten that the basis of our existence is within our control. Generational trauma is what creates complex situations like R Kelly he is a victim of his own trauma and through his choices he became the one inflicting horrible pain on other human. You are not in a bad relationship just because, but because at one point of your life you saw love as being painful and in a very twisted way our brains seek for similarities in situations and makes meaning out of the them, our brain it an algorithm and the chemistry in our brain – the feelings is what makes us tag a situation as comfortable or uncomfortable, if there is a similarity found, we will run towards the known events even if in an unconscious way we are inflicting pain on ourselves.

As a society we are stuck in procedures, rules, standards, and morals that might’ve work   years ago, but life in itself is evolving if you are not growing you are dying, this is nature this is life. As time passes, we need to start questioning our systems and start changing them as we grow and evolve. The new science has been talking for many years (50) about the theory of epigenetics; IT IS SCIENTIFICALLY PROVEN that we control the expression of our DNA through our thoughts and experiences, that EVERY sickness (with a very few exceptions that affect less than 1% of the population) have an emotional origin; and that  the central dogma (theory that explains how DNA control us) its now proven incomplete and that the theory of the primacy of the environment (the theory that explains how the environment affects our gene expressions) completes it.

It is fundamental to start educating ourselves, what we are taught in school is not going at the same speed that what we discover. We have now been influenced for the last 20 years with a huge cultural changing tool – SOCIAL MEDIA, let’s use it wisely. Let’s help others educate themselves on how changing will bring new opportunities to live an amazing life, to advance as a unify society, and most important so that we can continue existing as a specie.

I questioned myself and my beliefs and it took me into an amazing quest of redefining success on my own terms, of redefining my choices and life. It also took me to take responsibility of who I am in this society and what I want to contribute. It made me questioned my choices as a potential parent. This quest has taken me to amazing places, and it has also brought me to a level of vulnerability and consciousness of my own life that I have been able to return to my real nature and break the generational trauma cycle. Has it been uncomfortable? Fucking yes!! it has… it made me inconvenient, uncomfortable but it makes me feel alive and in control. I have been criticized by those who hates change and feeling inconvenient, I was even told I “drank the cool-aid” and you know what it’s the beautiful irony, is the same people who are utterly unhappy, completely numb to feel empathy for others, absolutely irresponsible for their life and choices and extremely blind to their own generational trauma cycle that they are passing down to their own children and others, don’t be them.

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[1] The pattern


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